I understand...

All of use have had our hearts picked up and smashed against a wall. All of us have lost family, friends, and loved ones dear to us. All of us have faced unfair, cruel circumstances. And as we go through them feeling and thinking no one has ever endured such pain... no one has ever lived through such hell and sadness, it's very true. No one ever has. No one can enter your head, step into your shoes, and live the tragedy you're living through, not even a person who may have had a similar experience. Too many variables like past experiences, someone's strength of character, someone's backbone (or lack of backbone), and in some cases just plain stubbornness can help one through the deep, dark times.

I think that's why it gets on my nerves and pisses me off so much when people say to me.... "I understand." How in the world can they understand? They aren't me. Many don't have a clue what makes me tick. Hell, some days I don't even know.

What they can understand is that long, twisting, winding road of grieving, mourning, the crawling back to life, and sometimes rough steps forward to continue on. Because that they have been through, in one form or another.

The statement of one day at a time can work some days, while other days it's hour by hour. I think a better term to say is "I sympathize."